Welcome to my journey.

Hi, and welcome to my journey on the Alpha Blade body+spirit+mind program.

My name is Fox and here is my story:

Just over a year ago, my life was amazing. I had a good high paying job, I had the girl of my dreams, I was healthy, and I believed everything was going great.

All of a sudden I had a lot of depressive feelings, I couldn't sleep at night, I would cry for no reason at all, and I truly felt as if I was going insane. I also had no idea why all of this came about.

Anyway, I decided to see a doctor about this and I told them my story. The doctor told me I had 'depression' and prescribed me the drug Lexapro. At first I thought "great, i know what is wrong with me know, i'm depressed, but the drugs will help". Oh how I was wrong.

My 'depression' increased after I knew that i was 'depressed' and so I went back to the doctors again and they prescribed me an even larger dose of Lexapro and then eventually also prescribed me a larger than normal dose of Xanax. At this time I was diagnosed with "Severe Depression with Anxiety Disorder" or something very similar along those lines.

This medication completely changed who I was. I was like a zombie in an empty shell. I had no feelings towards anything. I ended up losing a high paying job because I just didn't care. I ended up putting on lot's of weight. I ended up getting into more debt. My fiance and I lost the house that we were going to build together. Our wedding got cancelled. I ended up not caring about my fiance and I started to treat her very badly. She decided to cheat on me because I just wasn't the same person anymore. My life was falling apart while I was on this medication, and I didn't even care.

One day I just decided that I can't take it anymore and that I cannot cope with what the medication is doing to me. I decided to stop taking all of my medication. For the first week I was fine, then all of a sudden I had extremely bad side effects from stopping so quickly. I would be walking through the shops or down the street and I would feel a sharp "electric shock" go all the way from my toes up into the top of my head and I would nearly faint. This happened for a good 2-3 weeks and made me feel like crap. Another side effect of stopping the medication was that it made me suffer in the bedroom. I couldn't last as long with my fiance and I also didn't care. It was terrible.

Anyway, since all of this happened I stayed bitter because of the cheating and also because of my 'depression'. I stayed that way for another 6-7 months and it ruined me. 3-4 weeks ago my fiance and I broke up. I believe losing her was just the wake up call that I have needed to make me change my ways and start my head and heart off fresh.

My goals on the Alpha Blade body+spirit+mind program are:

I have decided that I am going to start my own successful business.

I have decided that I am going to be healthy and fit again.

I have decided that I am going to build or buy a nice house.

I have decided that I will find love again, hopefully with my fiance, but if not, then with someone who will appreciate me for who I am in all ways.

Most of all, I am going to live a good life.